I have never resonated with a TV personality more than Stassi Shroeder from Vanderpump Rules on her birthday. I’m the vainest lil’ shit for a good month leading up to my birthday, and I say that with total shamelessness. I know some people aren’t “in” to birthdays, and that’s totally fine, but there’s also nothing wrong with celebrating your ass off on the day you got to start living your beautiful life! Think about, one random day in the history of the world you were officially brought into existence, isn’t that so cool?! Why not celebrate the hell out of that monumental moment? Birthdays celebrated in quarantine are not… ideal, but now more than ever we need to grab onto happy moments and things to get excited about. So, here’s how I recommend celebrating a sheltered-in-place b-day.
Decorate your ass off
Streamers, confetti, balloons, silly string. GO. ALL. OUT. Pick your favorite colors or have it look like a rainbow threw up in your living room. Why not give in to that inner-child and finger paint or bust out that Crayola watercolor set to liven up the place? While decorating, ask yourself WWHBD (what would Hazel Bradford do)? Hazel from Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating is the queen of color, and if she would add more glitter, you bet your sweet ass you need more glitter.
It’s pretty safe to say that approximately 90% of us are in a pandemic-fueled baking identity crisis. And I think we should ride that dopamine wave as far as it will take us, fam. Whether you want to stick some birthday candles in a sourdough loaf, indulge in the richest of red velvet cakes, or order one in (hi Milk Bar, I’d dedicate my first born to you), treat yourself to something delicious.
You know what pairs really nicely with sweets? Literally any Lisa Kleypas book ever (reading her novels is like savoring a huge slice of rich chocolate cake, decadent and delicious). I particularly loved Chasing Cassandra. My girl Cassandra loves desserts, and stern-sweets-daddy Tom is ready to feed it to her.
If you’d like a side of grumpy-swears-in-Shakespearian hero with your dessert, go with The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare. This book is my go to recommendation for anyone looking to get into historical romances. It’s hilarious, yummy, sweet, spicy, and just all around perfect.
With all that set, it’s time for activities.
Bust out the boxed wine or Capri Sun’s, video call up your friends and loved ones, and get ready to party. Whether you’re blasting music and having a Zoom dance party, risking friendships in online board games, hunkering down for a movie marathon, or binge-watching a show (have you watched Fleabag? You should watch Fleabag) do something that makes you happy! Today is all about you, embrace it.
Need help bringing out that inner [party] animal? Take some cues from Nalini Singh’s Psy-Changeling series. These books are phenomenal, and with 18+ books and novellas in the series, they can almost make you forget you’re living through the stress of a pandemic. Almost.
Even if you don’t have a birthday during this insane time, there’s no reason you can’t create your own joy. Times are really damn tough, and making up reasons to have a party and be happy and goofy are more than acceptable. Celebrate YOU. You are working through one of the hardest periods of modern history, and you should be proud of yourself for making it this far. I encourage you to grab on to any and all moments of happiness during this time. You deserve it.