There is a lot of pressure placed on February 14th… A LOT. Society tells us that we must have a partner, and must go out for a ridiculously over-priced meal at an anxiety-level crowded restaurant, and must squeeze that hot piece of ass into something sexy and uncomfortable to live up to society’s standards of beauty.
Well, I think this is:
-archaic
-boring
-outdated.
But, spending Valentine’s day loving yourself?
-Fresh
-Restorative
-Feminist af
So, this Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to do some serious self-lovin’, something that nourishes you, and makes you feel cared for.
Without further ado, here’s my self-lovin’ guide to rocking V-day:
Setting the mood
Candles soothe my soul on a visceral level. Beyond good smells, something about flickering flames lighting up a dim room warms my inner regency goddess. So, light all the candles! Level up by adding a string or two of fairy lights (throw them on the floor for all anyone cares, there’s no rule that you have to hang lights). Something about that soft, pretty glow sets the scene for a night of self-care.
Dress Code
Does lingerie make you feel like a fierce bitch ready to take on the world? Throw on your favorite pair and admire how damn hot you look. Not your thing? Treat yourself to something more comfortable like a pair of silk pj’s, a giant fuzzy robe, or warm flannel pajama bottoms and a giant baggy sweatshirt. Whatever self-care uniform you don, make sure it makes you feel GOOD.
Nourish yourself
Avoid the insanity of restaurants on Valentine’s Day and order in. Is there anything more self-loving than ordering yourself a heart-shaped pizza with all your favorite toppings? (Side note: this is not something I save only for V-day… 10/1o would recommend doing any other day of the year). My rule of thumb for romantic meals: the greasier, the better. Alternative option, cook yourself a huge splurge dish. Get that steak. Steam that lobster. Sauté that eggplant (😏 😏 😏 😏).
Activities
Do. Something. Fun.
Seriously. It’s really easy to sink into Valentine’s Day blues if your love life isn’t exactly where you want it. But one day of the year should not break your spirit or make you doubt yourself (side note: you WILL find love, and it will be awesome and epic and everything you ever wanted). Instead of wallowing, do something that lifts your spirits. Watch a funny movie! Bring a friend over and make a “no love life talk” rule! Take a bath! Knit! Masturbate! Knit! Bake cookies! Masturbate twice! All of the above! But, most importantly, do something that NOURISHES you. Do something that fills you with happiness and love and worth.
My biggest recommendation is (not surprisingly) to fall into the pure joy of a romance novel. Guaranteed HEA? Female empowerment? Steam? Love? Embracement of sexuality and autonomy? Sign me the hell up.
And while you’re breaking all of society’s Valentine’s Day rules, why not read about some other bad ass rule-breaking heroines?
Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean is a perfect place to start. This Regency romance follows quintessential good-girl Lady Calpurnia (Callie) who discovers that always following the rules has landed her firmly on the shelf with no prospects of escaping spinsterhood. Determined to experience life fully, she sets out to break all the rules society and her family have forced upon her, all with the help of our swoony alpha, Gabriel St. John. It’s a perfect blend of humor, sexual tension, and growth.
Contemporary rom’s more your jam? What better way to experience the love than diving into Christina Lauren’s instant classic Beautiful Bastard. High on sass and steam, this enemies to lover’s novel chronicles the journey of intern Chloe Mills and bastard boss Bennett Ryan as they navigate breaking all the rules of office romance (and obviously that whole ‘mortal enemies’ thing lasts and no feels develop AT ALL).
So go forth. Sprinkle those rose petals on your own damn bed. Pop that champagne. Buy all the chocolate. Because, when it’s all said and done, the most important person you can love on Valentine’s Day is yourself.
