[Note from Frolic: Today, we welcome author Meg Tilly to the site. She’s talking all things Hollywood. Take it away, Meg!]
This article was supposed to be Five Things You Didn’t Know About Hollywood. “Sure,” I thought cockily. “Easy-peasy, I can do that.” But as you read further you will see… I failed miserably at fulfilling the promises made by the given title. I started to write and my mind flashed to attending the Academy Awards. When I moved to LA, my sister, Jen and I would watch the Academy Awards and dream about one day attending such a glamorous event. And when we actually managed to make those dreams come true! Boy did we feel incredibly lucky and blessed. However, as is often the case, reality can be very different than how things appear on television. Here is a behind the scenes look at attending the Oscars, so that the next time when you are munching tasty treats and throwing popcorn at the screen when the outcome is not to your liking, you will realize just how lucky you are to be sitting in the comfort of your own home rather than out and about at some ‘fancy’ award show.
Five Things You Didn’t Know About Hollywood… ahem… Attending the Academy Awards
- It is a minimum of an hour and a half for make-up and hair and you are happy to be sitting and having someone make you look beautiful because: a) if you are anything like me, applying exquisite makeup and making my hair look like it hasn’t been styled in a windstorm is not a skill I possess and b) you’ve likely been running around for the last few days in a state of agitated excitement. One more thing, anytime there is a big awards show, the professional makeup artists are booked to the gills. You might find your make-up is being applied at ten in the morning. Once that makeup is on, you don’t want to eat because you’re worried you might mess it up and the beauty team has zipped off to their next appointment and if you did mess it up you would be out of luck. Also, for those nominated, your stomach is way too nervous to do more than nibble a small something for breakfast. This might seem like a useless detail but bear with me.
- The limo will pick you up around 2:30 pm in order to arrive at the Awards by 5:30 pm. No, that is not a misprint. Traffic in LA sucks at the best of times, but throw in a major international Awards show and… forget about it! You see, not only are the fans showing up to cheer on their favorite stars, but you also have reporters and TV crews from around the world, and the majority of the movie business. That is a lot of cars all heading to the same exact place at the same time. It’s a traffic jam of colossal proportions. By the time you arrive you’ve already clocked a minimum of four-and-a-half solid hours on your behind and the evening hasn’t even started yet. Yikes! Also, think about the hourly cost of renting a limo, stuck in traffic while the clock is slowly ticking away… Double yikes!
- The show, on a bad night, can run up to four hours depending on how many long-winded speeches there are. So, now you’ve clocked eight-and-a-half solid hours on your butt!
- If you got suckered into wearing a beaded or sequined dress you’re going to get a good workout. Those dresses are beautiful, and what daydreams are made of, and… they are also heavy. By the end of the night, wherever the skin came in contact with the bling can become quite red and chaffed. It’s worth it to look so pretty for that moment in time. But my goodness, you wouldn’t want to do it on a regular basis. Also, when you get home there will be deep imprints on your derriere and on your back from sitting with all those beads/sequins for hours and hours and hours. What about those gorgeous dresses with those glorious trains? Um… not so glorious when the wearer has to lug the bulk of train slung over her arm all night. Because if she lets it down, people will continuously tramp on it, stopping the wearer of the dress in her tracks, and giving her whiplash to boot. (Okay, I have a confession to make. I accidentally stepped on a very famous actress’s train. She did not have it slung over her arm. It was in a very crowded space and there was no way to see below the waist, let alone what was dragging on the floor. I won’t say who the actress was, but seriously, I thought she was going to slap me. I felt terrible. Luckily nothing tore!) Now if you are going to a fancy event and you know the ‘tromping’ dangers, there is another thing you should be forewarned about. You won’t be able to go to the bathroom by yourself. Hopefully you’ll have a close female friend who will be willing to assist. If not, you’re going to need to corral the help of a stranger to go into the bathroom stall with you and help hoist all the fabric out of the way.
- By the time the awards are wrapping up people are ravenously hungry. It’s now after 10 pm and most people haven’t eaten since breakfast. That glitter you see in their eyes during the final categories? That’s not excitement or the delicate welling up of emotion. That is sheer desperation you are seeing! Oh, and perhaps when you were watching the Oscars on TV, all cozy on your sofa, and munching on snacks, you might have wondered why the Hollywood crowd is so ovation-happy. Why they are always leaping to their feet at the slightest provocation. My theory is that that over-exuberance is caused by the fact that everybody’s butts have gone painfully numb, and it’s a way to try to thwart the courting of thrombosis.
And that’s the inside scoop! Yes, it was an absolute dream come true to have attended the Academy Awards. But in reality, the truth is that it is so much more fun to watch on the TV in your pajamas with friends and family and a plethora of snacks and beverages at the ready. Easy bathroom access, nobody cramming into the stall with you while you do ‘your business,’ and best of all when a speech is boring you can fast-forward through it! Hooray!
About the Author:
Meg Tilly may be best known for her acclaimed Golden Globe-winning performance in the movie Agnes of God. Other screen credits include The Big Chill, Valmont, and, more recently, Bomb Girls and the Netflix movie War Machine, starring Brad Pitt. After publishing six standout young adult and literary women’s fiction novels, the award-winning author/actress decided to write the kind of books she loves to read: romance novels. Tilly has three grown children and resides with her husband in the Pacific Northwest. Learn more about Meg Tilly by visiting megtillyauthor.com.
The Runaway Heiress by Meg Tilly, out now!
A brave woman on the run from her vindictive husband faces a dangerous path in the thrilling new romantic suspense novel from Oscar-nominated actress Meg Tilly.
Sarah Rainsford has been on the run for more than three years. She’s changed identities yet again in hopes of throwing her violent estranged husband, a police lieutenant, off her trail. Since she’s still legally married to him, and he is willing to bend any laws to get his hands on her inheritance, he’ll stop at nothing to locate her.
With a new name and fake ID papers, she lands a job as a personal assistant to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy director Mick Talford. He’s a difficult client but she senses hidden depths to him. Once Mick and Sarah combine forces in a desperate attempt to keep Sarah out of harm’s way, they build a strong bond . . . but with danger trailing them, is it enough to keep them both alive?