Frolic Podcast of the Week “Quick & Dirty Romance” Hosts Sarah Smith and Skye McDonald Share Their Top 3 Tips for Writing Sex Scenes

3 Tips for Writing a Sex Scene

[Note from Frolic: We are so excited to bring you this new series: Frolic Podcast of the Week! Each week, we’ll ask one of our great podcasters to share a bit about themselves. Up next, we have Sarah and Skye from the Quick & Dirty Romance Podcast! They’re sharing their three top tips for writing a steamy sex scene. If you’re new to their show, check out their episode “Writing Sex!”]

When it comes to writing about characters in a romance hitting their “peak,” some authors get cold feet. There’s nothing wrong with a closed door sex scene, but if you’re going to take your reader through every steamy, tingly detail, there are a few things to keep in mind. Follow these three tips to create sizzling-hot scenes that are also sweet, compelling, and keep readers riveted.

Sexy Tip #1: Keep it Real(ish)

We’ve all read sex scenes in romances that are just too good to be true. If the characters don’t warm up enough or the female main character orgasms at the drop of a hat (which isn’t impossible, but we’d argue that this is the exception rather than the rule… unfortunately), readers are taken out of the moment. Goodbye, tingles. 

One of the best ways to keep it believable and build that heat is with foreplay. Start off with sexy banter or naughty texting, a hot makeout, heavy petting, some mind-blowing oral, anything to set the scene for more satisfying sex. This will also help your readers feel more invested in the story because they’ll actually believe your characters are hot for each other. 

And don’t forget the lube! We like to think that romance books are aspirational in many ways. We create characters who mature through the story, who learn how to express their feelings in a healthy way, who learn how to say sorry when they mess up, who learn how to forgive–all things we should aspire to do more of in our real lives. And we should all definitely aspire to use lube more often because let’s be honest: it makes sex–both fictional and real–that much smoother. If you’re describing certain sex acts, lube is in fact required. Nothing makes a reader cringe more than imagining chafing. 

Sexy Tip #2: Don’t Dodge the Moment 

For a lot of people, it can be hard to write explicit sex. Even the most devoted romance fans and writers can feel skittish at narrating this intimate event. But a romance writer must be prepared to accurately and precisely narrate sex. If you can devote a paragraph to describing a character’s outfit, don’t you dare skip over the big moment! And make sure that what you’re writing makes sense. Be precise and dynamic with your words. If a reader gets confused as to whose tongue is where, who is dressed and who’s naked, or whose hands just did what to whose nipples, then you lose the immersive experience you’re striving for. 

Sexy Tip #3: Always Establish Consent 

There’s no excuse for overlooking consent in romance. By the time the characters are ready to partake in sexy times, they both need to have given the clear green light in some way. But this conversation doesn’t need to be cold and clinical. Consent is super hot! For example: 

“It makes me so hot seeing you do that.” 



“What else do you want to see me do?”

“You sure you want me to say it? It’s going to get very, very dirty.” 

“In that case, I’d rather you show me. Now. Please.”  


In that exchange, the tension and heat are palpable, and there’s no question that these two characters are both absolutely willing and ready to go crazy on each other in the best way. 

For more on how we write sex, check out this episode (link to writing sex episode of podcast) of our show, The Quick & Dirty Romance Podcast. And, of course, see how we do it by checking out our books.

About the Author:

Skye McDonald is the author of the Anti-Belle series, contemporary romance novels set in her hometown of Nashville, Tennessee. She is also a podcaster, an English teacher, a fitness instructor, and a life coach. Skye’s Anti-Belle series are standalone books featuring sassy GRITS (Girls Raised In the South) learning to love themselves before they can claim their happily ever after. Spoiler: they always do! Her classes and newsletters seek to teach individuals to do the same. When not writing sexy books or cheering for you to live your best life, Skye can be found out on a new adventure, wherever that may take her. Learn more at Buy books here:

Sarah Smith is a copywriter-turned-author who wants to make the world a lovelier place, one kissing story at a time. When she’s not writing, you can find her hiking, eating chocolate and perfecting her lumpia recipe. She is the author of Faker, If You Never Come Back, and Simmer Down


Enjoyed this post?

Frolic F Logo



Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About The Author

Christmas romance excerpts

Exciting Stories for the Christmas Season, Part One!

Books with haunted settings

Spooky Books Set in Haunted Buildings by Simone St. James

Add to Collection

No Collections

Here you'll find all collections you've created before.

Scroll to Top
Scroll to Top