[Note from Frolic: We are so excited to have author duo Max Monroe guest post on the site today. Take it away!]
Being an adult is hard.
We just heard seventy-five of you yell YASSSS in agreement, and we hear you.
The childhood dream of eating cake for dinner and going to bed whenever we want isn’t so grand when there’s a never-ending list of responsibilities weighing us down.
Taxes.
Monthly bills.
The whole “you have to have a job in order to have money to do anything” thing.
And when it comes to that job, sometimes, the ringleader, the head honcho—the big ole boss—running the show is no Sunday picnic.
S/he can drive you crazy with demands.
S/he can expect you to do twenty hours of work in a four-hour period.
S/he can be a serious pain in your you know what.
And all of that makes the idea of going against normal office decorum and doing things to give our horrible, demanding bosses a taste of their own medicine nearly too tempting to *resist…
Needless to say, if you can relate to all of the above, today is your lucky day, girlfriend.
Because we’ve compiled a “How to Annoy Your Boss” **list just for you.
**This list pairs well with a glass of wine (preferably one poured from a handy-dandy box of Franzia) and ***cheese.
***Kraft Singles.
*Disclaimer: For the love of God, resist. Max and Monroe do NOT recommend that you do anything on this **list. Things like job loss, job suspension, diarrhea, stress, and zero-dollar paychecks are just a few of the side effects that could occur.
Actually, Max and Monroe recommend that you stay away from everything on this list. Seriously. Stay away. Far, far away. Like, if this list was the USA, you should relocate yourself to Mars. Or maybe Venus. Or hell, Pluto. Yes, yes, relocate yourself to Pluto. And let’s all just keep acting like Pluto is still a planet, okay? We refuse to go against what our elementary school teachers taught us. No matter how certain NASA is. We see you, Pluto. You’re doing great, sweetie.
Max Monroe’s Top 6 Ways to Annoy Your Boss
#1: Label everything as “Urgent.”
Emails. Text messages. Faxes. Carrier pigeons.
Everything is urgent, and gosh darn it, your boss needs to know it.
Need some info on the new policy about the parking garage? Urgent.
Want to let your boss know that Karen in the cubicle next to yours keeps stinking up the workplace with tuna salad sandwiches at lunch? URGENT.
Someone took a bite out of your sandwich? That. Is. 100%. Urgent. And, in our humble, always-hungry opinions, comes pretty close to a hostile work environment. If you can’t trust the break room fridge, can you trust anyone at your office??? We think not!