Sexting Advice from a Romance Author by Rebecca Brooks


[Note from Frolic: We are so excited to have author Rebecca Brooks guest post on the site today. Take it away Rebecca!]

Ah, sexting. It can be exciting—and totally nerve wracking. (WHY is there no unsend button???) But you don’t have to be an erotic romance author to sext like a pro. Here are ten tips for how to up your titillating text game beyond the eggplant emoji, whether you’re fanning a new spark or adding fuel to your favorite flame. Without total embarrassment, I promise! Even if laughing is all part of the fun.

1. Start slow.

Just as with physical sex, there’s no need to jump in without a warm up. You wouldn’t tell someone you want to bone them in a vat of chocolate pudding before at least asking how their day is going. It’s just good manners! So test the waters, see if you’re on the same page, and then…

2. Get a little flirty.

I know. You’re saying BUT REBECCA, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FLIRT. Yes, you do. I promise! Inside jokes, gentle teasing, anything that shows you’re not looking to talk about grocery shopping. Unless it’s to talk about chocolate pudding. See? I can make anything sexual. So, my friend, can you.

3. Don’t rush.

Some of the best sexting is the verbal equivalent of a hot and heavy make out session. You know, the kind where all your clothes stay on and yet your whole body is melting? That delicious build-up is part of the process. Make it last!

4. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.

Sexting is one way to signal what’s on your mind long before the bedroom—and keep the glow alive long after. Playful hints, a double-entendre, even something as simple as “Can’t stop thinking about you” or “I loved it when you…” immediately gets the blood pumping.

5. Sometimes, less is more.

You don’t have to go X-rated if you don’t want to. Seriously! It can be a thousand megawatts hotter to only hint at what’s to come. Although, of course—

6. Jump right in

if you’re feeling it! Maybe sending something totally hot and unexpected will get your beloved’s heart revving. How about a quick photo? Or a description of that thing you want to do as soon as they walk through the door? There’s no rule that says you have to be coy.

7. Laugh!

I know I can’t write a word—let alone share something personal—if I’m worried about what someone is going to think or afraid of saying something embarrassing. Being able to laugh with someone is one of the greatest turn-ons of all. You’re not writing a dissertation—you’re texting something fun. Smile while you’re doing it!

8. Explore.

Sexting can be a safe way to explore fantasies you may—or may not—want to do in real life. Something risky, something extra naughty, something new…the sky’s the limit, because what you write doesn’t have to be anything close to what you’re actually going to do. Maybe sexting will give you some ideas. Maybe it’ll just keep you giggling throughout the day.

9. Open up.

As my characters ALWAYS wind up learning, sexting can be surprisingly intimate—even before things progress to the texting-one-handed stage. Sometimes it’s easier to be vulnerable via text than to open up face-to-face. This is kind of a double-edged sword. Proceed with an open heart, but also…

10. Be smart.

You know, like don’t sext on your work devices. Don’t accidentally sext your mom. Don’t sext anyone who’s not worthy of your awesome brain and your rocking bod.

As with anything sexy, context is everything and consent is key. Don’t want to send a photo? Don’t! Want to send something saucy but leave your face out of it? That’s perfect! Feel okay baring some parts but not others? Your choice! Prefer to have fun without getting explicit? The world is your beautiful oyster. If you don’t like where a convo is going, the block button is your new best friend. “No” is a complete sentence and you can say it any goddamn time.

I also recommend this gif as needed.

So now that you’re ready to unleash your inner erotic romance author, go forth and be a sexting goddess! Most importantly, be safe, be yourself, and have fun.

About the Author:

Rebecca Brooks writes smart, sexy, contemporary romance, including her most recent novel, Wrong Bed, Right Girl, available now. She lives in New York City in an apartment filled with books. She received a PhD in English but decided it was more fun to write books than write about them. She has backpacked alone through India and Brazil, traveled by cargo boat down the Amazon River, climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, explored ice caves in Peru, trekked to the source of the Ganges, and sunbathed in Burma, but she always likes coming home to a cold beer and her hot husband in the Bronx. Her books are about independent women who leave their old lives behind to try something new–and find the passion, excitement and purpose they didn’t know they’d been missing.

To learn more, visit Rebecca online:

Wrong Bed, Right Girl by Rebecca Brooks, out now!

Falling head-first into the wrong woman’s bed was not how Reed Bishop’s night was supposed to go. Now a gorgeous, half-naked ballet dancer was threatening his manhood…with a book. He can’t blame her. 
It wasn’t how it seemed—he was just doing his job, tracking down his lead informant, who, unfortunately, took off, leaving him to figure out what to do with her friend. Staying in her apartment was no longer safe.
And that’s how he got himself into this mess.

Now she’s sleeping in his bed while he tosses and turns on the couch.
There are pink tights in his bathroom.
Pointe shoes next to his boots.
He swears he won’t touch her like that…but he can’t ignore his fantasies.

As a tattooed, muscled DEA Agent, Reed’s seen some things. Drug dealers, murderers…He can’t let Talia get close. Even though she’s made it clear they’re both fighting the same hunger. And he definitely can’t use his handcuffs on her…no matter how much she begs.


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