Hello, friends, and welcome back to Texts From A, where I’m watching Pretty Little Liars for the first time and telling you all about it.
Here we are, at the end of season one. To the surprise of probably no one, PLL seems to go pretty hard with their season finales.
First, let’s deal with the jump drive. Because Ian has a track record of being into younger girls, they think it must belong to him. Since Alison had the jump drive, she knew about the videos, and may have blackmailed Ian – which may have led to her death.
The jump drive isn’t just videos of the girls, though. There’s also a video of Jenna threatening to lie about Toby assaulting her if he breaks off their relationship. They wonder if they should talk to Jenna, since she was also being recorded – or if it’s all a trap.
They end up confronting Jenna, who reveals she lied when (many many episodes ago) she said that Alison had visited her in the hospital. Alison didn’t say anything about being scared of Spencer or any of the girls – she visited Jenna on her way back from Georgia to threaten her. Alison told her to keep their secret – it’s unclear if that refers to The Jenna Thing, or if there’s yet another secret – or else Alison would release the video of Jenna and Toby.
Don’t worry, the girls all have plenty of individual things going on, too.
- Hanna is in full-on wallowing mode after Caleb’s departure. She still doesn’t know he wrote her a letter, or that he left Rosewood thinking Hanna had read it and ignored it.
- Her mom even asks her what was in the letter, and Hanna just assumes he decided not to give it to her!
- Mona is also still keeping her silence about Caleb. Hanna talks about how sad she is, and how stupid she feels for believing he really loved her, and Mona just…lets her keep thinking it.
- Also Lucas is back, and still acting coldly towards Hanna. Get outta here, Mr. Friendzone.
- When Hanna accidentally leaves her phone behind at lunch, Mona grabs it juuuust as Caleb calls.
- Mona tells him that Hanna threw his letter in the trash and she’s over him.
- Lucas overhears, and Mona promises that if he keeps quiet, she’ll help him get with Hanna.
- There’s a line in my notes that just says “Hanna deletes Caleb from her phone because god hates me”
- I guess I ship this ship a little, okay?
- But then!!! Lucas picked up Caleb and is driving him to Hanna’s house, because he thinks Hanna deserves to be happy!!!
- GO LUCAS GO
- Emily is emailing with Samara, the girl from the pride group, and my bisexual heart is dancing.
- So of course this is when she finds out that her father’s military assignment was extended, and her parents want to move to Texas for the next year.
- She also has an encounter with Garrett, who gives her his number and offers his support because he’s super on their side.
- Spencer still can’t stop herself from saying various snarky things about Melissa’s pregnancy.
- Melissa doesn’t understand why Spencer can’t just be happy about the baby.
- I’m torn because Melissa keeps genuinely trying to be nice to Spencer, but also she’s been terrible, but also Spencer’s life would sure be easier and happier if she got along with her sister.
- Spencer bought a pre-paid phone so they could contact Ian anonymously.
- She sends a text pretending to be someone who’s blackmailing him.
- The plan is to convince him it’s all about money so he doesn’t suspect it’s them, and then film him when he comes to make the trade.
- After sending the text, the girls all stare super conspicuously at him from across the cafeteria.
- He looks wicked guilty, and texts back, asking what they want.
- They tell him to meet in the park that night with $10,000.
- Before the park meet-up, Spencer picks up Melissa from the church because Ian didn’t get her like he was supposed to. She’s super upset that she hasn’t heard from him.
- Melissa forgot her phone at the church, so they turn around to get it,
- AND ANOTHER CAR CRASHES INTO THEM, ON MELISSA’S SIDE.
- She sends a text pretending to be someone who’s blackmailing him.
Not to leave you in suspense, but everything else should really be talked about with everyone, not in anyone’s specific section. But first let’s talk about…
- Garrett gets around in this episode.
- There’s a part where a phone conversation Jenna’s having is cut together with a conversation Ian is having to make it look like they’re talking – her about the video, him supposedly comforting her and saying she’ll take care of it.
- But it’s not Ian who meets Jenna in her room!
- It’s Garrett!!!
- Jenna says that Alison is still taunting them from the grave, and that if the video gets out, they’ll lose everything.
- Garrett promises that he won’t let that happen, and THEY KISS.
- I’m not saying the current moral of Pretty Little Liars is ACAB, but, like. Has there been a good cop in the series yet?
Here’s the rest of it:
- Spencer and Melissa are fine, but the doctors aren’t sure yet about the baby. It could still be okay.
- Also we don’t find out who was in the other car, and since the scene right before it was Lucas and Caleb driving, I’m worried it was them.
- Wanting to be helpful, Spencer walks to the church to look for Ian and also for Melissa’s phone.
- Meanwhile, the other girls are at the park for the meet up. They don’t want to meet Ian alone, so they call for backup.
- GUESS WHO THEIR BACKUP IS?
- OF COURSE IT’S GARRETT.
- OF COURSE THEY’RE ALONE IN THE PARK WITH GARRETT AND HIS GUN.
- Smart, beautiful, smart Hanna mentions that she left a note for her mom so that she’d know where they were. The note isn’t real, but Garrett doesn’t need to know that.
- Someone does show up at the park, but it’s not Ian. It’s some guy who was paid to drop off a bag and pick up a package.
- Just in case this guy ends up being important later: his name is Logan Reed.
- Spencer is at the church looking for the phone, and she does find Ian!!
- No one else is there! Just Spencer and Ian!
- Ian, who knows Spencer sent the text, and proves it by texting the number! No one in this show silences their goddamn phone so the alert goes off!
- Ian knows about the accident. He was waiting for Spencer to leave the hospital.
- He is super convinced that Melissa will understand him, uh, killing her sister in order to protect them.
- Spencer throws the jump drive behind him as a distraction, then RUNS up the stairs. She calls the others, and they hear her struggling with Ian while he gives his villain monologue.
- He planted a letter on her laptop confessing to killing Alison, and says he’s going to stage her suicide.
- Spencer: If you love my sister, you won’t do this.
- Ian: I’m doing this because I love her.
- (I SPENT THIS ENTIRE SCENE ALL-CAPS TEXTING THE FRIEND WHO GOT ME INTO THIS PLL MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE.)
- Spencer is dangling super high up – they’re in the…bell…tower? What’s that thing called, in a church, where it’s a bunch of stairs leading up to the bells and there’s a big empty space in the middle of the stairs all the way down.
- They’re in that and Spencer is trapped and hanging on by a thread and “A” SHOWS UP AND PUSHES IAN.
- IAN IS SUPER HECKING DEAD, HANGED IN THE BELL ROPES.
- But when the cops show up HIS BODY IS GONE.
Crowds have gathered around the church. As the girls leave, we hear snippets of conversation, gossip wondering if they lied about Ian’s death, asking why they would lie.
Considering Spencer’s family’s track record with believing her, I’m not super excited to see how this goes.
The episode ends on a final text from A: “It’s not over until I say it is. Sleep tight while you still can, bitches.”
Lowkey, I kind of can’t tell if we’re meant to think Ian had confessed to murdering Alison, or if we’re still in suspense on who really killed her. We’re definitely still in suspense on A.
I knew we wouldn’t find out who A was at the end of season one but uuuugh HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT? There’s still six more seasons to go. Will the mystery of A be dragged out for that long? I mean, right now it doesn’t feel like a drag – it feels exciting and suspenseful. Will it still feel that way 50 episodes from now? 100?
I guess we’ll find out.