I suppose it seems odd that in my ramped liberalism I still believe that virtue and purity are the best end game. But I think the thing people forget in our modern age of glib entitlement is that just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. Just because it’s perfectly acceptable to Internet shame someone doesn’t make it right. Just because revenge feels good in the moment doesn’t mean it will ultimately bring you happiness.
So, I thank Disney, and all the other fairy tales, for teaching me these values early on. They’ve helped shape the woman that I am, the one that lives bound by a code of ethics. Now, the other side of that coin is my unrealistic expectations of Prince Charming on his white horse to appear and sweep me off my feet. I think that’s the reason why I became a virtual Jerry Seinfeld. Remember, on the show, he was always finding a reason to break up with the person he was dating at the time? For one woman, it was her “man hands,” for another, her annoying laugh. I wouldn’t say my reasons were quite as frivolous, but there was always this underlying expectation of Prince Charming that a real flesh-and-blood man could never live up to.
I fell in love with my best friend unexpectedly at the hardest time of my life. He and I looked at each other one day, and it was instant. Fireworks flew. Animated bubble hearts popped all around us… okay, maybe not literally, but it had all the figurative makings for a fairy tale. Then reality set it. We had to learn to live together without it ending in some sort of murder/ suicide. We had to learn as full-grown adults how to coexist. One of us was more selfish, which caused all sorts of issues and therapy. There was an evil Mother in Law in the mix. Which caused even more problems and therapy. And, through it all, I was still fighting for my idea of Prince Charming. I was perpetually disappointed and critical of what my real-life Prince could offer me.
Now, this did two things: 1. It pulled us apart and made him feel criticized. 2. It made him want to be better, do better for me to fulfill even 10-15 percent of my lofty relationship goals. So, over time, my cynical Prince —who thought romance was just a silly idea — turned into the Prince that plans wedding anniversaries months in advance with the most romantic handmade, traditional gifts a fairy tale Princess could ask for. I would tell you about them, but I’m afraid it would embarrass my husband. He’s still got his cynical side. I suppose I would call him a cross between Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid and the brooding Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre. It keeps things interesting.
Anyway, the point isn’t what the gifts were, it’s that my lofty ideals and high self worth that I attribute on some small level to Disney movies never let me settle. And, in turn never, let him settle. Ten years later, we still strive to be the best for each other. When we start to get complacent, Disney never lets us get away with it. So, in the end, in this cynical world where sweet and wholesome is passé, I say watch those Disney films with reckless abandon. And remember that life is what we make it. People give us the respect that we demand. And relationships can be their own versions of Happily Ever After with a hefty dose of reality thrown in. But never ever stop dreaming and wishing. Your Prince may be right around the corner… just maybe not quite how you imagined…