Oh, anxiety and depression. You definitely have a knack for the dramatic. You brought me to my knees in anxious tears while I clutched an ice cream at the local mall. I was only seven. And then there was that time you floored me—literally—with a panic attack-turned fainting spell in the makeup hall of Toronto’s busiest department store, aged twenty-six. It was right in the middle of a mother-daughter makeover. Yay, me! I can smile about it now, but I was mortified at the time (I definitely didn’t require any blush!). Depression has toyed with me as well. I’ve pushed it aside, pretended it didn’t exist, and painted on a smile for the world too many times to count. No wonder, my diagnosis was something called ‘smiling’ depression.
But mental health does not define me. Like you, I am many things: an award-winning author, a dog mum, a chocolate chip cookie fanatic—and a mental health warrior. I’m proud to wear the resiliency badge due to my battles with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. But that wasn’t always the case. It took me years to admit publicly that I have these challenges, and it wasn’t until I wrote my first novel London Belongs to Me (featuring an American playwright with an anxiety disorder), that I decided to speak up. I mean, how could I expose Alex’s trials without opening up about my own? And you know what? It felt liberating. If only I had done it sooner! But I had a good reason for keeping silent about my truth for so long—stigma. You might not notice it if you’ve got nothing to hide, but trust me, for people dealing with mental health issues, stigma is everywhere—at work, in social situations, and in our beloved books.
Stigma loves stereotypes and clichés. How many have you heard, read—or even shared? People with depression can’t get out of bed. Anxiety disorder sufferers are whiny, attention seekers. Depressed individuals are self-absorbed and unreliable at work. Nice, eh? Good luck finding a person who wants to be branded with those ignorant labels. Is it any wonder so many of us stay quiet?
The truth is, folks with anxiety and depression do have moments of unbearable despair when life is crushing them from the inside out, but their affliction is only part of the picture. They’re also brave, productive, and have many moments of success: they go on dates, they get promoted, they’re empathetic, caring friends—all while their anxiety and depression ebb and flow. And that’s the point many people miss—mental health issues aren’t static. They change. And symptoms differ from person to person—one size does not fit all.
So why doesn’t that apply to characters with mental health challenges in romance novels? Why do they too often end up as one-dimensional stereotypes? I’ve asked myself these questions repeatedly, and finally decided to do something about it. I decided to become an own voices author.
My first reason to dive in was personal. I realized that my sensitivity, anxiety & depression help me see the world through a unique perspective—they urge me to write with compassion, love, and understanding. It’s my superpower and hey, why not use it for good? If one person with anxiety or depression comes away after reading my books and feels understood and not alone, I’ve done my job.
Frustration was my second reason. Mental health warriors in books either didn’t exist—period—or anxiety and depression were dropped into stories like a sloppy after-thought, a half-baked quirk used for comic relief or story depth without any substance to show the reality. I’m sorry but mental health isn’t just another character trait like blue eyes, freckles, and a love for white wine. When authors go this route, it screams of ignorance like they couldn’t be bothered to do their research or enlist the expertise of sensitivity readers. Take it from someone who knows, to write mental health well, you can’t just name it. You must get inside it, feel it—the pain, the fear, all of it—and express it truthfully on the page.
So, in my quest to make a difference, not only have I written three novels that offer a realistic and empathetic portrayal of mental health, I’ve also sought out other authors’ books that do, too. Some of these books pre-date mine, some may be from authors who are new to you, but all treat mental health with the respect and care it deserves.