Modern Love Poems: To the Man I End Up With by Shrutee Choudhary

[Note from Frolic: We are so excited to continue our new series of modern love poetry from the top poets on Instagram. Next up is part 7 of a collection from @shruteechoudhary. Read part one here.]

To the man I end up with

Don’t mind me if I take my time to warm up to you. I have been wrong so many times, that denial feels like home, and in order to get myself out of that comfort zone, I will have to gather all my residual courage. I promise you that if you’re patient, I’ll trust you to be myself with.

I’ve been in relationships before, where he could not give me his all, his best

because he had been broken and wronged too. 

I don’t want to do that to you. You deserve all of me, all my good qualities and my vulnerabilities. 

I want to give you all of that, and so much more. So if you decide to love me sincere and long, you will see my facade for what it is

and wait for its pieces to drop.

And in those early days, when I seem to look at you too long, know that I’m learning to trust again, and you 

you seem like a cup of hot chocolate in freezing cold weather, I want my hands wrapped around you

take you in small sips, slowly, so it never ends. You seem like Christmas on a mundane day. 

Don’t mind me if after all those years of being together, I still ask you if you love me.

The disbelief will last until we do 

because you will always seem too good to be true, and every little thing, every gesture, every quirk and experience, will mean everything.

You will overwhelm simply by being with me

and I promise to douse you in happiness. 

Don’t mind me if I say ‘I love you’ in unconventional ways. Those words have become so vile and so empty that now I’d rather you feel it than 

hear it like an obligatory statement of some kind. 

The first attempt will be so subtle, like returning to a hug for a second time

or even a playful punch on your arm.

I might just ruffle through your hair or annoy you on purpose. 

The second attempt will probably be me crying, because I’ll have realised how strongly I feel about you. 

Just hold me then. I might then kiss you and whisper it into your mouth.

The third attempt will be obvious, not at all coy because I’ll not be hiding anymore. I’d be brave enough to love you like I’ve never loved before.