Romance: An Insider’s Perspective by Eva Moore

In my early thirties, romance held me together. Through three postpartum depressions, a wildly fluctuating body image, and the stress of moving to the other side of the world and back, romance was a constant. Thanks to e-books, I always had something to read on my phone. I binged Sarah MacLean’s Rules of Scoundrels series in Singapore. Seeing women on the page handling everything life threw at them with grit and determination was empowering.

As I reach towards my forties, I’m expanding my reading choices. I’m choosing authors with voices different than my own to enrich my understanding of humans in the world and broaden my empathy. Beverly Jenkins, Alyssa Cole, Mia Hopkins, Alexis Hall, Jasmine Silvera, Alexis Daria, and Sierra Simone have all introduced me to new loves, new worlds, and new histories.  

But my love of romance goes far beyond the actual books. The people in this genre have brought so much joy into my life.

While living abroad and searching for connection, I found Sarah MacLean’s Old School Romance Book Club (OSRBC) on Facebook. I had never met other readers who loved romance. Through sharing novel love, these people became true friends. We meet up digitally for Fantasy Balls and in real life for high tea and book clubs. We run several initiatives to raise money for charitable causes. We turn to each other in times of crisis. It’s my favorite place on the Internet.

During the really rough times, I was too tired to read. I played with my own stories to keep my mind active while I folded laundry and nursed the baby. Eventually, I started writing them down and made a career for myself that I love. Cherry Adair gave me the push I needed, and I’m delighted that I will be at the RWA Conference to see her accept the Lifetime Achievement Award this year. My daughters are already reaping the benefits of romance, because they see their mother working hard, chasing her dreams, and finding fulfillment inside and outside our home.

And still, these are only my stories. Ask any romance reader, “Why romance?” and you will get a different answer. People are reading for entertainment, escape, and the emotional release that only a happily ever after provides. They are learning about history, art, empathy, and building their English vocabularies with these books. And they are seeing themselves and others positively represented on the page. Where else can we be guaranteed that the female protagonist won’t die at the end of Act 2?

These books give us a place to watch horrible situations turn into HEAs. We connect with themes of redemption and growth. We disappear into stories of passion and hope. We laugh. We cry. We love. Some days, it’s the only thing we have to fight back against the darkness.

So the next time we react to some backhanded compliment or snide remark, consider that to us this is a personal attack. Calling the entire genre trashy or smutty not only implies that writers and readers are by association; it misses the point of the genre completely.

So why now? Why does Romancelandia flood Twitter and Facebook with responses when a comedian or a critic takes a cheap shot? Maybe because now we know we’re not alone. Maybe because now we have a platform for our voices to be heard. Maybe we’re just done feeling guilty for finding joy and pleasure in a life that too often serves up pain.

This February, let’s look at the ways romance supports our communities, strengthens friendships, and provides safe spaces for love, instead of churning out those old tropes of shame and judgment.