Why You Should Be Practicing Pleasure Magic—And How to Do It

You read the title right. I said Pleasure Magic. I think we could all use a little more of  the things that make us feel joy and hope in our lives, especially right now. But let me back up a bit and introduce myself.  

I’m Frolic Media’s resident bruja blogger, Maria, believer in everyday magic, advocate for HEAs for all, and devotee of sacred simple pleasures. I’ve been writing about and practicing the art of natural magic for long time. So what’s that, you might ask? Simple. Everyday magic is the conjuring of energy that makes life more delicious. It’s an appreciation of the little things that we often overlook in our hurry and worry. It’s a commitment to radical self-care. And most of all, it’s about intentionally cultivating the life you want to live. Plant your hopes and dreams—nourish them—and watch them bloom.

Still, I know that appreciating these joyful luscious things and daring to hope might not feel easy right now. But here’s the thing: these small acts of conjuring are now more important than ever.  That’s where Pleasure Magic comes in. It asks you to tune into what soothes the soul and refreshes the senses, without guilt, without shame, without comparing your journey to others. Pleasure is a vital part of life and when we consciously welcome it into our daily routine, we are crafting a vibrant, healthy way of being. 

I’m reminded of one of my favorite cards in the tarot deck, the Queen of Wands. It’s also the card I drew right as spring and our current stay-at-home life unfolded, which feels incredibly uplifting. The Queen of Wands is all about positive vibes, infectious joy, and finding inspiration in the littlest of things. Look at her living her best life on her throne of sunflowers, in a fabulous dress, accompanied by her feline familiar, blue skies all around her. When she walks into your life, she’s telling you to stop and smell the roses. She’s also gently reminding you that if you’re struggling to stay upbeat (who isn’t right now?), sunny times are always within your grasp. Just look at those blue skies surrounding her! It’s not about ignoring difficulties, but empowering yourself and knowing that you can be part of the solution (so, like, hang tight and keep washing your hands!). She asks you to be like the sunflowers surrounding her and turn your face toward the light.  

I’m especially partial to her because she loves black cats, just like I do. And she knows that whenever a black cat enters your life, magic is afoot! It’s always guiding you towards magical living. At least that’s what my familiar tells me. So in the spirit of the Queen of Wands, I’m shamelessly practicing Pleasure Magic, and so should you. Here’s how to get started:

1. Feel what you need to feel…then let it go. So this part might seem counter-intuitive to the whole pleasure part of Pleasure Magic, but hear me out. Pleasure isn’t about ignoring the heavier side of life. It’s about creating a safe space to feel the feels and process what you need to process. Make this a gentle exploration of where you are most in need of some TLC. Then liberally apply that self-love!
2. Think about the times you’ve felt most lovely, happy, and bubbly. What caused those feelings? Find books, movies, and shows that help you conjure this same feeling. There are a ton of great recommendations on Frolic! Surround yourself with those vibes and trust them—they are telling you a lot about how you want to live. I’d recommend Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown. It’s a delicious and heady book about reclaiming your joy as a form of social justice and the politics of feeling good, as the book’s subtitle says.    
3. Repeat the mantra: There’s no such thing as a guilty pleasure. There’s only pleasure. Period. So much of what brings us joy is regulated by toxic patriarchy that diminishes things like emotions, sexytimes, and happiness, so much so that many of us have been taught to feel badly about things that make us feel good in any form. How about we change the narrative and stop the guilt? Let’s go one step further and call our pleasures sacred instead.  

I encourage you to practice Pleasure Magic this week, in whatever form it calls to you. The best part of everyday conjuring, as I call it, is that the more you do it, the more magical your life becomes.