Categories: Screen TimeWatch Look Listen

Texts From A: Please Look At This Website Page

Hello, friends, and welcome back to Texts From A, where I’m watching Pretty Little Liars for the first time and telling you all about it. As with the last post, I’m going to cover just one episode. Next week will be the season one finale and then back to two episodes a post! Maybe more!

I have to confess something to you. In the beginning of the episode, there’s this guy watching the girls. I do not know who he is. I don’t know if I’m supposed to know him. All the guys on this show look like the same guy. It took me like five episodes to reliably separate Ian from Alison’s older brother and I’m not totally sure that this mystery guy isn’t that brother? THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME.

As far as I can tell, that guy never came back, not even in the finale. I don’t know who he is or if I was supposed to.

Aria:

The most important part of Aria’s part in this episode is that every time she said, presumably, “Facebook”, it has been dubbed over with “website page”.
- As in, “I saw Ezra’s website page.”
- I so desperately need to see what that decision-making process was like.
So Aria saw Fitz’s website page, and it had an old picture of him with a woman in Italy, and she was wearing an engagement ring, so naturally, Aria panicked.
- Hanna, still struggling with feeling betrayed by Caleb, makes a fake profile to friend Jackie – the woman in the photo – so Aria can snoop. All they know right now is that she and Fitz went to school together and were in Italy together.
- Aria, bless her heart, deletes the profile before she can do any of the said snooping, and she asks Fitz about it directly.
- Fitz was engaged to Jackie, but she broke it off.
  - Aria experiences a lot of feelings about the fact that if Jackie hadn’t broken it off, Fitz would be married right now, and they wouldn’t be together.
  - She also asks why Jackie still has that picture on her Facebook.
  - Personally, I’m more curious about why it was up on Fitz’s laptop when Aria opened it, but I also don’t want to encourage this line of jealousy.
- In the end, Aria and Fitz reach a fairly okay place.
So it seems like everything’s fine with them, right?
IT IS NOT.
Garrett, the cop who’s been stalking the girls? Yeah, he sees Aria leave the apartment.
- He knocks on the door, Fitz lets him in, and Garrett definitely sees evidence of Aria having been there – just, general signs that two people were in the apartment and also her scarf.
Cool cool cool cool totally fine totally cool.

Hanna:

You’ll be very shocked to know that Hanna is still just always breaking my heart.
She won’t tell her mother why Caleb moved out, or accept much help about it.
Also, Mona is back, and she quite dramatically blames herself for not protecting Hanna from Caleb.
- I think I saw Mona in pictures from either a late season or from that new PLL series, so I think she’s around for awhile, and I just…really hope I end up liking her at some point. I am fully open to liking her if she gives me a reason to.
  - If she does, it’s sure not this episode!
- Hanna talks to Caleb to ask what, specifically, Jenna wanted from him.
  - Apparently, Jenna thought that Alison had given Hanna some sort of key and wanted him to find it.
  - Also Caleb’s whole sad face is breaking my heart and I need Hanna to forgive him!!
- Caleb talks to Ashley, and she’s a little combative, but can’t super blame her. All she knows at this stage is that he hurt her daughter somehow.
  - He asks her to give Hanna a letter from him, but she tells him to give it to her himself, and that Hanna doesn’t deserve to have another man leave her life without saying goodbye.
    - My heart!!!
  - There’s this founders’ festival or something going on, and Hanna is volunteering at a booth there. She’s with Mona, who’s being food-shamey and generally unhelpful.
  - Caleb goes to the festival to see Hanna, but when she sees him coming, she leaves to hide.
    - So instead he talks to Mona, and gives her the letter to give to Hanna.
    - Does Mona perform this very simple task? NO. SHE RIPS IT UP AND THROWS IT IN THE TRASH AND POURS A DRINK ON IT, and we get just enough of a view of the torn letter to see lines like “call me” and “I love you, Hanna”.
  - Mona straight-up lies about what Caleb wanted, so now Hanna gets to go on believing he doesn’t care about her.
    - Thanks Mona!!!
  - When Hanna sees Caleb getting on a bus out of town later, they make eye contact and…Hanna doesn’t do anything. She lets him get on. She lets him leave.
    - Kill me.
      - (You can’t, I will never die. But if you COULD, this would be an okay time.)

Emily:

Paige and Emily are continuing their dance of Is Paige Going to Come Out, Is Emily Going to Be Okay If She Doesn’t.
Paige’s dad got them tickets to some event, and Paige calls it a date, but then also says that there’s a third ticket for some guy friend. She wants a boy there to Keep Up Straight Appearances.
- Emily isn’t thrilled.
- But, Paige has been looking around online for tips on how to come out!
- Another high school in the area has a pride group! Emily convinces her to contact them and maybe meet up with one of their members.
The meet-up is planned and ready, Emily and Paige are going to meet this girl from the pride group for coffee and talk about Gay Shit.
- Emily gets there first.
- Pride Group Girl – Samara – is very pretty and Emily seems to be having conflicted feelings about that.
- Emily and Samara talk a little while waiting for Paige.
- Samara says she dated a closeted girl awhile ago, and it was nothing but drama.
- ..does not show up.
I am lowkey shipping Emily and Samara right now.
Emily finds Samara at the festival later. Samara makes and sells jewelry, and there is definitely flirting, there is for-real flirting, I am very into it,
- Paige is not. She finds them and she’s VERY NOT about it.
- Paige gets mad that Emily told Samara anything about their relationship and Emily gets mad because she doesn’t want to be Paige’s secret, and she storms off.
Later, Emily is in her room, admiring a pair of earrings she bought from Samara and ignoring Paige’s texts.
- She also gets a text from A.
- “Poor Em, you definitely have a type: Love me, lie for me – A”
Flashback time!
- Alison is back from the weekend at her grandma’s that was probably actually the weekend at Hilton Head with Ian, and she has a vintage snowglobe for Emily.
  - Alison tells her to keep it a secret, and to keep it somewhere safe, because it’s a lot more valuable than it looks.
- In present time, Emily finds a secret compartment in the snowglobe.
  - Remember that key Jenna thought Hanna had?

Spencer:

Veronica and Melissa agree that Spencer should volunteer at the festival for the optics of it, and also that Spencer should not be hanging out with Toby.
- Spencer says she doesn’t care what the neighbors think, and Veronica has this line about how “They’re not just neighbors, they’re potential jurors.”
- She wants Spencer to get on the good side of the right people, and Spencer, reluctantly, at least goes along with the festival thing.
Spencer and Toby can’t meet at her place, because her mom doesn’t want him near her, and they can’t meet at his place because ever since news of the fibers in her bracelet got out, his parents think Spencer planted the sweater to frame him.
- They decide to meet up at the festival.
I’ll admit there’s a part of the Ian story that I’ve had trouble keeping straight, but if I understand it correctly,
- The girls are sure that some weekend the summer Alison disappeared, she was at Hilton Head with Ian. He was there that weekend, and while Alison claimed she was visiting her grandmother, that story has a lot of holes in it.
- Spencer told the police about it to try and prove he was seeing Alison.
- Melissa claimed he was with her that weekend while she got an abortion.
- But in this episode, while talking about their weekend at Hilton Head with whatever Popular Neighborhood Lady at the festival Spencer is there to impress, Melissa and Ian super contradict each other. Their stories don’t match up.
- When Spencer says something to Melissa about it, Melissa…doesn’t defend anything.
Since Spencer was the one that helped to lead them into this Hilton Head contradiction trap, Ian of course threatens her.
Spencer goes to the spot where she’s meeting up with Toby, which is some sort of…haunted…house? Thing? Like a fun house, but SCARY.
- She gets a text from an unknown number claiming that it’s Toby borrowing someone’s phone because his died, and he’s inside.
  - SPENCER HASN’T BEEN WATCHING HER OWN SHOW, BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES THAT TEXT IS REAL AND GOES INSIDE.
- There’s a room where “Having any fun yet? Shut up or I’ll shut you up. -A” is scrawled on the wall in dripping red paint.
- In a really confusing turn of events, Spencer, while running away, ends up in…a…cylinder?
  - You know how in Hairspray, they sneak Tracy into the station in a fake can of Ultra Clutch, which is just a giant hollow plastic/metal cylinder?
  - Yeah, it’s like that, but there’s a door that can be closed and jammed with a crowbar.
  - …Which is what happens. She gets trapped in it.
  - I have no idea what it is she’s trapped in, but she’s trapped. She drops her phone and I think she’s having a panic attack.
- Ian, however, rescues her.
- Since Spencer didn’t get a chance to send out a text and she was missing for like two minutes, I’m not sure why he, her mom, Melissa, and the police were out looking for her, but they were. And they rescue her.
She gets a text from Real Toby, who’s outside.
- Her mom tries to steer her away from him, but Spencer GOES AND KISSES HIM IN FRONT OF GOD AND EVERYBODY.

via GIPHY

Let us return to the key Emily found in the snowglobe. It was for a storage unit, and the only thing in that unit is a lunchbox Alison had when she was a kid. In the lunchbox? A jump drive.

On the jump drive? Years of secretly-filmed videos of them. Alison is in them and doesn’t seem to know they were being recorded. It’s just the girls hanging out at various places, having sleepovers, being in various states of undress. It’s the skeeziest of finds.

Don’t worry, there’s more! Of course we need the dramatic A ending.

I super thought that I was going to be able to be like AH-HA, SEE, I KNEW ALL ALONG re: Fitz’s terrible key choices, and link you to the relevant post where we first saw his poorly-hidden key, but it turns out that didn’t make it into the post.

However, I assure you that in my notes for episode 7, I have the line “Fitz keeps a key under the mat of his door because that’s safe in an apartment building where it can just get kicked around,” and that I knew all along he was making shitty decisions, and that I should always be trusted about security matters.

Oh, right, you probably need to know why I’m talking about this. I’m talking about this because “A” STOLE THE KEY. It wasn’t hard for A to steal this key, because the dude keeps said key under his doormat in the indoor hallway of his apartment building.

Is this one of those things that you do when you’re a man living alone and you don’t have to worry the way women do when they live alone? (Which, brb, I gotta check my door.)

I’m back. So, yeah, A stole Fitz’s spare key, but hasn’t done anything with it yet. I’m sure when they do, it’ll be…totally fine and not completely bonkers.

A lot’s going on! I hope you’re ready for next week, where I break down the finale that had me texting the friend who got me into all this in ALL CAPS for about HALF THE EPISODE. It’s a big one! I’ll see you then.

Screenshots from: https://prettylittleliars.fandom.com

Sarah Hollowell

Sarah Hollowell is a fat Hoosier writer working to up the magic quotient of Indiana. She's been published on Huffington Post, Fireside Fiction, and Apex, among others. She spends most of her time binging podcasts and needle felting characters from Animal Crossing.