Written by Andrea Arango
Tired of having to decode what snacks are best suited to your lengthy book binges? Want to know how to achieve the right compromise between your taste buds and your aesthetics? You’ve come to the right place!
After countless hours of exhaustive snack research, we’ve compiled a guide to help you navigate the wild bite-sized world of sweet/salty/crunchy/chewy treats. Take a look and see where you end up chowing down!
Team Orange: Cheetos, Doritos, and Takis
While these snacks rate very high on taste, they are a no-go on the reading front. It doesn’t matter how careful you think you’re being or how clean you think your hands are. You will 100% smudge your pages. What an embarrassment.
Team Crisp: Grapes & Sliced Apples
These snacks may not be the tastiest, but they are pretty refreshing and healthy. And that’s worth something, right? Right??? Mind the dampness of your fruit, though! It might not stain like a Dorito, but nobody wants grape squirts in their books either.
Team Fancy: Crackers & Cheese
Want to pretend you’re at a nice party? Want to imagine your soulmate will show up at any second to join you? Get yourself some fancy crackers and gourmet cheese. It’ll taste delicious, and if you pick the correct cracker texture and size, the crumbs should be minimal. Hint: Stay away from the Triscuits!
Team Salty: Pretzels
Ah, the satisfying salty crunch only a pretzel can provide! Not only can you eat large quantities of these without fearing for your pages, their small size makes for easy, crumb-less mouth popping. Eat away, friends! Pro Tip: Get yourself some whole wheat ones and you can say they’re ‘healthy’, too!
Team Drip: Cantaloupes & Honeydew Melons
Listen, I’m not going to beat around the bush here. Melons are worthless. Don’t even try it. Your pages will get sticky and wet. Your mouth will think it’s drinking water, but then realize you’re actually trying to feed it food and spit on you. Just don’t – ok?
Team Energy: Nuts
Participating in a Readathon? Need to get through your pages without passing out, but don’t want to ingest a whole half a cup of sugar? (I’m looking at you, gummy bears.) Get yourself some nuts! Got some cash to throw around? Splurge on some walnuts or pecans. Wallet running on empty? Grab some peanuts. Either way, you’ll be set for some clean and energizing snacking.
At the end of the day, you’re gonna do what you want. But if you care about your books, you’ll bookmark this matrix. Cause there’s nothing worse than a food stained book, am I right? (Well, maybe a water-stained book. But you get the idea!) Snack smart. Read smart. USE THE MATRIX.
With Love, Only Lovers Book Club
P.S. If you have a cooperative roommate, partner, or small child, consider turning them into your snack delivery assistant so you can focus on what matters, the long-awaited climax.